The Power of “I Love You” Rituals
Created by Dr. Becky Bailey, founder of Conscious Discipline and author of “I Love You Rituals,” the concept of the “I Love You” rituals is simple and yet astoundingly powerful. Caring touch, kind words, and intentional routine will form the kind of bond and connection that opens not just the heart, but also the mind and the will. Because of the dopamine that’s released and the emotional connections that are made, “I Love You” rituals actually wire the brain for greater impulse control, spur a desire for positive behavior, and increase attention span and impulse control – all things that are crucial for children to succeed in relationships, in school, and in life.
Just as important as the “I love you” part is the ritual part. Rituals are those special ways you do things – the way you greet one another, the way you reconnect after time apart, or what you do every night before bed. Rituals are not only meaningful; they are also deliberate and predictable. Dr. Bailey’s “I Love You” rituals are used to strengthen relationships, build trust, and during daily routines or transitions from one activity to the next.
Two of Dr. Bailey’s more well-known “I Love You” rituals are a beautiful revision of two well-known nursery rhymes.
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
What a wonderful child you are!
With bright eyes and nice round cheeks,
Talented person from head to feet.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
What a wonderful child you are!
A Wonderful Woman
A wonderful woman lived in a shoe.
She had so many children
She knew exactly what to do.
She held them,
She rocked them,
And tucked them in bed.
“I love you, I love you,”
Is what she said.
In Kindermusik, we use music and often a few special rituals borrowed from Dr. Bailey to strengthen bonds and emotional connection. The power of “I love you” and the ritual of “I love you” is truly in the emotional connection, an emotional connection the ultimately comes full circle. Grab a tissue and watch this video, and you’ll be convinced. “I Love You” rituals should have a place in every home, in every classroom, and in every heart.